Family and
Family tie is very important in Shan . They use to have big family. A single child in a family is very rare. They use to live together
with parents until or unless they got marriage and wanted to live by themselves. Children respect their parents very much. Sometimes
the parents do not want the married children to leave. They build houses in their compound for them or give them rooms to live together
in their home. The son seldom goes to live with his wife’s parents (ckdefjclpf) but wife use to live with son’s parents. Going to
live with wife’s parents after getting marriage is considered as poor or low status of the man and it is looked down by society.
Family
always dine together round the table. Children never eat before the parents and elders have eaten. Fish, pork, beef, bamboo-shoots,
vegetables, and curry in the pot or banana leave were laid on the bamboo table which was about two feet in diameter and one feet high.
They use to have five to six varieties of dishes on the table. After the family has gathered round the table the pot of steamed rice
is served separately to each person by passing the pot. Members take up the rice, roll it in their hand in lumps and eat with curry
or dishes. It’s a beauty to the family when all the family members go to the festival together. Families are united in
community. They use to join together in building houses, making or repairing roads, digging well or water drainage in all development
of the village and community. Sometime they even defense and guard their village and community together for security and well being
of the dwellers. Usually the chief of the village has power and authority over community. In many places the Buddhist monk has the
authority over the village. In the old days courting among young stars started as early as the age of twelve. When a boy
came to a girl’s home and wanted to meet, have a chat or courting with the girl, it depended very much on the favor of the girl’s
parents. Parents had influence, authority and control over children very much. Children also listened and respected parents’ opinion.
When parents did not like the boy meeting their daughter they use to say, “She is not at home” or “She is not free to meet you at
the moment” or “She is already in bed” etc, even though she was at home and available. But when the parents of the girl liked the
boy they usually gave favor and asked the boy to come in and take a seat and they would call the girl to come and see the visitor.
Usually boy came to girl’s home only in the evening because they all had to work in rice field at daytime. The meeting or courting
usually took place at home in front of the parents while the girl was weaving. The boy use to bring something to do at girl’s home
such as plying strings or cutting strips of bamboo while chatting or courting the girls. When their conversation was serious the parents
use to go away, leave them alone and give them privacy to talk. Parents always wished that their children would have good husband
and good wife. Parents use to ask about their family and background history of the boy or girl before giving a green light. Holding
hand, hugging or kissing before they became fiancé is very rare. Rape was extremely rare. Meeting or courting secretly was considered
as wrongdoing. The courting sometimes also took place at the market, on the road to the market or home, in rice field while working
in the field or at the well when girls were fetching the water. The language used during courting was different from ordinary conversation.
They use to start with talking about the moon, the star, the flower, the river, the valley, the mountain, the stream, the bird etc.
to express their interest and love. They never directly say “I love you.” For those who knew how to read and write, they wrote love
letter “Leik Kao” (vdufjcA0f) (green letter). These were usually written in poetry, by himself or by a professional letter-writer.
He did not send letter to the girl if she did not read. Instead when he paid his evening visits, he brought the letters with him and
read or sang them to her, throwing as much meaning and sentiment in his voice as much as possible. The girl, of course, was the subject
of the poems, which in many lines and rhymes told her that she walked as gracefully as a duck swims, her face was like the full moon
shining in the night, the palms of her small hands and the soles of her tripping feet were pink as lotus flowers etc.
Courting
